A “Pleaser”, to me, is one that not only has the ability to give another the joys that they desire but can maintain either headspace convincingly and and not simply as a service. IE; When you play as a Dominant because someone wants that you do it out of a sense of duty. (At least, that seems to be what you are saying here). When someone like me does that same thing we set up a playspace in our mental landscape where what our toys desire is the same thing that we desire as well. So when I go Dominant on someone I make sure that it is something I want to do because if it is not then it simply isn’t convincing or fun and neither party is satisfied in the end.  

That being said, I mightily enjoy the role of the submissive but I have a partner that is also enjoys the role quite a lot. Though he has learned to be a fairly dominant man for me he still needs to be able to play the role of the submissive pup and cannot relax without that part of his nature being sated from time to time. “The Well”, as you put it, is an interesting space that I have only recently begun to explore. Before my pup and I got together I never really had much desire to do anything more than be a pretty little sub for big, dominant guys. Now, however, I also enjoy taking people down the rabbit hole and seeing just how deep it runs. Mostly Seamus. *chuckle* 

The shadow of a man/woman standing above you, making you feel small, cute, vulnerable. The scent of strawberries, chocolate, leather, your lover’s body as you are pulled firmly against their body. The sound of a commanding voice whispered with authority, confidence, desire, love. The luscious feeling of soft fur caressing your belly, the sensation of fingertips lightly stroking your neck, or the heavy thud of leather leaving behinds wisps of euphoric bliss as the many tails of a flogger impact upon the skin of your back. The taste of your Dominant’s flesh as your tongue is directed and guided around most clandestine locations of their body. The administration of each of these elements at the right times make the hole that much deeper. Seeking out the shadows and revealing the secrets they hold. It’s a fun trip into a land of mysteries and familiarity. 

The funny thing is that when I read over this, on the request of my pup, I realized that a lot of the things you described are the same ways that I have acted naturally since I started enjoying the Dominant headspace. I have done most of these things and more at one time or another to my dog and enjoyed each of them greatly. Though I have not explored humiliation much. I may some advice on that one since I know that he loves to feel the flush of heat in his cheeks and that feeling of bashful acceptance that seems to pique your interest as well.  

The problem is, that like you, I am also ADHD and have the problem sorting through a vast storm of thoughts, emotions, ideas, randomness, and the like. So I know what you mean about being intensely bored and seeking ways to keep yourself entertained. I have been managing by attempting to keep up with several hobbies, books, a workout program, etc. Now the reason this is relevant is that if I don’t have new toys to play with I begin to lose interest in the Dominant role. This is only a problem insofar as it is very difficult to explain when it happens. However, i suppose I just did! *grin* I like to experiment, and to experiment I need a vast array of tools at my disposal that can keep me from becoming distracted from the task at hand. Need more toys! But isn’t that always the case? *snicker* 

Anyway, I suppose I am rambling now and I don’t really have a lot more to say. Thank you for sharing your personal playground and I look forward to seeing more. I am always on the lookout for people I can learn a thing or two from. I really enjoy the journey that is learning and the treasure that is earned. 

Sounds like you really are a good boy! *leans back in his chair, smiles brightly, then bounds up and bounces off with a wave* Cheers!

“What I liked most about this post is summed up here: The formation and drawing out of desire, the building want, the achingly delicious craving for my dominant’s attention and approval requires time and effort. It requires getting to know me, because they amount that you can really make me feel submissive for you is inexorably tied to the amount you can get under my skin and in to my head.”

I’ve run into a lot of Dominants who seem to believe all subs are submissive, period, and the only requirement for drawing out submission is for the Dom to enter the room. I’ve even had my own submissive side questioned because…not a whole hell of a lot of Doms have made me feel particularly submissive, to be honest. So I’ve been doubted, or even called a “bad sub”, and that stings because a whole vital aspect of ones’ person is called into question. As for the Doms who have brought out that side of me, I’m not sure either what it was that did it. Right now I submit to a man who (as he freely admits) has no experience being a Dom other than with me, but there’s that “thing” there that makes me automatically submissive, it seems to be something in his nature and he just nails it, as if it were second nature. I agree that these things can be “learned” or imitated to some extent, but I’m not sure if that’s enough for the effect to be duplicated (hope that makes sense).

I also loved the scene you described, because it described everything so well and because I could relate. I also liked that the emphasis was on the dynamic, on the psychology, and underlined the fact that it’s not fancy toys or complex one-size-fits-all techiques that make a scene, it’s very basic things.